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Jedi Rednecks J Index    Fwds Home
You might be a Jedi Redneck if...
 

  • You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

  • Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

  • You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

  • At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

  • You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

  • You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

  • The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

  • Wookies are offended by your B.O.

  • You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

  • You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

  • Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

  • You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

  • You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

  • You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

  • There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

  • You use your lightsaber to pick your teeth.

  • You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

  • You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

  • A peaceful meditation is one without gas.

  • You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

  • You lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you stopped to spit.

  • The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

  • You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.

  • You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

  • You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

  • Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

  • You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

  • You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

  • You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

  • If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle."


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Oct 18/2018 - 9:37am EST