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Noah has to build an Ark again
 

The Lord came to Noah in Canada in the year 2000. Same story:

Earth was wicked, Noah was to rebuild the Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.Here's the blueprint, said the Lord.

Hurry - in six months I start the unending rain. Six months later the rain came down.

The Lord saw Noah weeping in his yard - and no Ark. Noah, He roared, Where's my Ark?

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah. Things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I have violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Getting wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. No go!

I gathered the animals. But then I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I take more than two of each animal. Environment Canada decided that I could not build the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Canada Customs and Revenue Agency has seized my assets, claiming that I'm trying to leave the country illegally.

So, forgive me Lord, but it would take about five years to finish this Ark.

The skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder. You mean you're not going to destroy the World? he asked.

No, said the Lord. The Government already has!


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Dec 16/2017 - 7:34pm EST